I discover a prejudice or two

Today I discovered that I am prejudiced against Mary Kay Ladies. I was trying to think of a spiteful, terrible, lonely, two-faced woman. What would she do for a living? Sell Mary Kay!
I don't know why I feel this way about Mary Kay ladies. I like Mary Kay products. I don't have anything against home-based multi-level marketing companies like Scentsy, Pampered Chef, Tupperware...In fact, I go out of my way to support the women who sell these things. I once was an Avon lady, and that was a good experience- I don't do it anymore because I don't like to sell things... but I sure like to buy things! And with Avon, the only up-front cost is $10.oo. You don't even pay for your product until 2 weeks after you get it.
But, I don't think it's the Avon vs. MaryKay thing that taints my perception of Mary Kay ladies. I think it's Mary Kay Ladies.
I spent some time researching MK this afternoon (for my novel) and there are some really sad stories out there. Directors are expected to buy a Director's Suit every year, for about $400.00. And they are ugly suits. Women are pressured to quit their day jobs- "You have to show up to go up" is a common Mary Kay saying.
I am sure there are good, honest women out there, selling makeup and working hard. But more often , I hear about women who put thousands of dollars of product on their credit cards in order to move up to the next Super Pearl of Love and Understanding Level.
But I digress.
The point is, that I have this prejudice inside me.
Such a journey of self-discovery this noveling has become.

Help Wanted

I am over halfway done with my novel, and it is coming along okay. I sort of wrote myself into a corner a couple days ago- one of my characters made a completely unauthorized bonehead move that sort of stopped my plot in my tracks. I've got the story moving in another direction now, and I still think I will win NaNoWriMo. Here is your chance to get your name on the acknowledgment page!

*Please tell me a little bit about something you have donated to charity. Why did you give it away? Who did you think would buy it?

* Have you ever scored at the thrifter? Tell me about it.

* I think I may need to kill off a character, suddenly. Any great ways to go?

Thanks!

8 things about quitting smoking

Wednesday is a big day here, two CBL readers celebrate birthdays, and it will be the 365th day in a row that I haven't smoked. Here are some thoughts about that:

* I wish there were magic cigarettes, I know I have said this before, that I could smoke only once in a while. I think I would probably go through 3 or 4 of these a month.

* I've gained about 15 pounds in a year. I don't think they are the most attractive pounds, either. seven or eight of them are on my face.

* I haven't been sick in a year.

* I love that I don't have to go outside in the cold and wet.

* I love that I can go places overnight and not have to worry about how I am going to smoke.

* At the conservative estimated price of $4.50 per pack ( I see that they are now over $5!) I have saved $1642.50. I don't know where the hell that money is, though. Perhaps I ate it.

* Food doesn't taste any better. That's a lie. It's just that how do you know when to stop eating if you can't have a cigarette afterward?

* Quitting smoking is, I think, the hardest thing I have ever done, and the thing I am most proud of. I recommend it. But also, on the other hand, I don't want to be preachy. I'm not anti- smoking. I still inhale extra-deeply as I walk past smokers.

Things I learned this week: Teen Retreat edition

This was another fun weekend. It started Friday, when I took Madison and another girl from our troop to a camp near Portland for a Girl Scout older girl retreat. Madison met up with a friend she had made at Summer camp- the three of them are pictured above. Then, on Saturday, we hurried home because Spencer had won tickets to the Ducks game. He had two tickets, so he took Madison. I went along for the ride, and killed three or four hours in Eugene on a Saturday night while they watched the game. Here's what I learned:

* I learned that things turn out okay if I sit down and get out of the way. The retreat was a girl-planned, girl led activity. Basically, the adults were chauffeurs. I showed up, was shown a seat close to the fire, and watched the girls have a great time. They even did the meals themselves. I wish that the girls would have learned that you can't quiet a group by yelling for them to be quiet. The weekend was successful and fun for the girls, but damn, the noise that 25 excited girls can make in a one-room lodge is sometimes painful.

* I learned how to play Apples to Apples. We were asked to bring board games, so I brought Apples to Apples, which has been stored, unopened, in our game closet since either last Christmas or the one before it. My family loves games, we bring them to lots of family functions. So, we get games as gifts. And it never fails that we get a game for four or more players every year. They sure look fun.
Anyway, I brought Apples to Apples to the retreat, and the girls taught me how to play. It couldn't be simpler, and it is fun and funny.

* I learned that Autzen stadium really is incredibly loud. I was inside Trader Joe's, a good half mile away from the stadium as the crow flies, and I could hear the crowd. Inside the store!

* I learned that when the inside of your car is clean, it seems to run better.

* I learned that if it weren't for write-ins, it would be harder to make any progress on my novel. Writing at home is difficult at times, but at the write-ins, not writing is hard. I'm afraid to stop clicking the keys for too long. There is peer pressure.

Another failure.

Tonight, Omega Mu hosted a party for women whose husbands (grammar bad) are deployed overseas. The object of the party was to thank them for their sacrifice.
The party was held at a local salon, where 6 stylists stayed late to offer free services. Free haircuts, free haistyles, free makeup, free brow wax.
One of the wives is a scentsy dealer, she came to set up her wares to sell. We had a Pure Romance consultant. We had wine and food.
We were told that emails went out to over 100 women, inviting them.
But no one came.

See what happens when you try to do something nice?

A couple of us ended up paying for haircuts, so the stylists weren't waiting around for nothing. We bought some scentsy stuff and some pure romance stuff and we drank some wine... but still.
disappointing.

Also, I totally blogged yesterday. I guess I just forgot to hit publish.

Worst. Euphemisim. Ever.

What did your mom call your rear end when you were little? Rear end? Bottom?
My Grandma Kay called it a "fanny", which always made me giggle because she had a friend named Fanny.
Some parents just call it a butt. We always thought that was crude.
I've heard "patoot" or "patooty", I think those are too cutesy.

My mother, however, had the absolute worst name for my baby bottom.
poopy.
"Sit on your poopy!" She would always yell. She never asked me politely to sit on my poopy. Sometimes, in church, she would hiss it loudly.
And so I spent the first 5 or 6 years of my life thinking that everyone called it their poopy. And boy did I get a whole bunch of kindergarten guff the first time I told some smartass kid to kiss my poopy.

My Christmas Problem

I realized a few days ago that Christmas is not far away. By the time National Novel Writing Month ends, it will be December. And December means Christmas.

I have some problems with Christmas. One of those problems is bad gifts.
I am afraid to give bad gifts. I really want everyone to really like what I give them. But I also want to give hand-made gifts, even if they aren't hand-made by me. I love Etsy for Christmas.
But what do you give a 14 year old boy? Etsy is lacking in that department. I guess cash. But giving cash seems like admitting you have absolutely no imagination.
Also, I will say it here: I get a little pissed off when I get crappy gifts. If that makes me sound like a spoiled bitch, so be it. But note I did not say inexpensive gifts.
I just wonder, dear bad gift-giver: When you were in Wal*Mart with your Christmas list, made of names in one column and amount to spend in the opposite column, what was it about the pre-boxed and wrapped snowflake-print polarfleece hat/scarf/ mitten set that made you think of me? Why not the Ex-cla-MA-t!on gift pack?

8 things I did not expect about writing my novel

1. One of my characters is going to become a carny. He has been looking for a job, and thanks to Jeremy's facebook post about carnies, he found the perfect occupation.

2. One of my characters is a cross-dresser.

3. So far, nearly 20,000 words in, it is a lot easier than I had imagined.

4. It is also fun. It's like reading a book, only it's the best Choose Your Own Adventure book ever.

5. I thought I would be able to make room in my consciousness for my story to unfold and still maintain my blog. I was wrong. The story pretty much takes up everything.

6. I put a real-life story from the newspaper into my story. Like Law and Order, ripped from the headlines.

7. Even though it is going well and it is fun, I am starting to think it isn't super-awesome.

8. One of my characters lives in a yurt. By choice!

Things I learned this week: 18,000 words edition

So I am 18,000 words into my novel when I learn a thing that makes kind of a huge difference- one of my characters is on methadone to treat his meth addiction. Only, what I learned is that methadone doesn't help with meth addiction. So now my character is lying about his drug of choice. What a shifty loser, still in denial.

I also learned that Mennonites do not take oaths. They figure that since God told them to always tell the truth, it doesn't make sense to take an oath to be more truthful at some times than others.

I learned that bees do pee, but they don't like to do it in the hive. They like to do it in my eye.

I learned that crossdressers refer to being dressed as their biological gender as being "in drab."

I learned that the clothes that are donated to Goodwill, but not sold on the sales floor because they are outdated/soiled/ripped are baled together and sold by the unit to wholesalers, who ship them to third world countries, where they are sold. Not given away.

Marching Band competition

Tonight, Madison and I went to Reser Stadium to watch a high school marching band competition. Madison gets points for band by attending musical performances.
We sat through 4 hours of high school marching bands in the cold, on bleachers. Mercifully, it did not rain.
I like marching bands. My high school did not have one, and neither did any of the other schools in our league, so I don't know a lot about what to expect from a high school marching band.
They all sounded good.
I just don't get all the flag twirlers and dancers and rifle throwers. watching some of the bands was like watching a three-ring circus- I wasn't sure where to look, there was so much going on.
I guess that must be a good thing, because the top two bands had a lot of diversions.

Then, the OSU marching band played. They did their halftime show from last weekend- a medley of the Time Warp, Highway to Hell, and Thriller.
They didn't do the Time Warp dance, but their flag twirlers did. The whole band, save for the drum line and the sousaphones, did the Thriller dance. And it was awesome. Worth the 4 hour wait.