Speaking of unimaginable foulness...

A couple weeks ago, we noticed that we have mice in the garage and attic, as we do every Spring. (next month: ants!)
So I bought D-Con, which they ate, as they do every Spring. But this year, something new. One of the bastards went in a wall to die. Usually they stagger out into the back yard or the driveway.

The stench in my computer room is impressive. I've opened the window and plugged in a Scentsy and closed the door. I wondered how long it takes for a mouse to decay, so I googled it, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that many, many people have asked the internet before me. The consensus is that it takes a week or so, and short of ripping out the wall, there isn't much to do but wait it out and try various combinations of sprays, vinegar, coffee grounds and baking soda. I've noticed the smell for a couple days, I remember on Wednesday giving the dog and cat disapproving looks because I thought one of them had took a hidden dump somewhere. By yesterday, my husband had identified the smell..."That's something dead." And today, it's really bad but it seems to be confined to one room.

So I'm off to buy Lysol. Maybe I'll pick up some ant traps while I am out.

I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.

I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

So yeah. I got the job. The first job I have applied for in over 13 years. I was told there were an unusually large number of applicants, and many of them were current university employees. And even though I feel like Red on the beach right now, earlier today I felt like Andy Dufresne crawling through 500 yards of unimaginable foulness.

Last night I had to break the news to my boss that I was being considered for the new position and that the department chair wanted to talk to her about me. I had to tell her on the phone, and she took it...okay. She didn't swear or cry, but she wasn't overly happy for me, either. After that tortuous conversation, I sent her numbers to the chair, let's call her Ann. Ann told me she would contact my boss in the morning.

So this morning, I sat alone at work from 9-1, hoping for a call from Ann. No such luck. At 1:00, my boss came to work and didn't say much to me. She did say, "your people didn't call me."
And that was the beginning of two of the most uncomfortable hours I can remember. Did I just piss off my boss for nothing? Why wasn't Ann calling? Was she interested in someone else?

Longest afternoon ever. Maybe she will call tomorrow. I walked down to the mailbox, and when I got back, the nurse was taking a message from Ann. My boss called her back as soon as she got a chance, and shortly thereafter Ann sent me an email to set up a good time to talk to me.

So tonight at 8, she called and offered me the job. She is going to get some more information from Human Resources about salary, but it's a done deal. One of the amazing benefits of this job is that employees are eligible to take 12 credits per term at 30% of the in-state tuition rate, and that is transferable to their children. So even though I am negotiating a strong starting salary, I would probably work for minimum wage and the tuition discount.

I am so excited to work with people who like people. I felt such a great energy in my interview, and having had a number of conversations with Ann I am convinced that this will be a great move.

I am really grateful for my friends, who texted and emailed and encouraged me over the past two days. We all need friends in here.

I hope.

Today I interviewed for a new job, a Program Specialist at the university near my home.
I applied for this job over a month ago, and heard back from them about a week ago- about three days after I had assumed that they had found someone else.
I can't tell you how badly I want this job.
The interview, I think, went well. I was in the room with three tenured professors and two office ladies. I think I made strong connections with the office ladies. I think I impressed upon all of them how quickly I can learn. I mostly listened to them tell me about the job, and speak as if it were already mine.
I know I was the first interview, and I know they called at least one of my references this morning. I know there was at least one other lady in the lobby waiting to be interviewed as I left.
I hope I wasn't overdressed. I wore a black suit and a beautiful pair of burgundy patent heels, to which I wish I would have given a more thorough test-run- I had to stop in the ladies room on my way to the interview and stuff toilet paper in the toes to keep my heels from slipping out.
I hope they read my resume and my cover letter. They didn't have copies with them, but I supplied them. There were a lot of things on paper that I may not have had the chance to detail verbally.
I hope my friend Erica is right when she says that interviews are just to make sure you aren't crazy. It sure seemed like it. They asked vague questions from a list that Human Resources had given them. I tried to sound very sane and reasonable when I answered.
I hope that I did not misinterpret the "I like you a LOT" twinkle in one of the office ladies eyes as I left. It was such a warm look that I could have hugged her.
I hope to hear from them today or tomorrow.
I hope.

Shame on Mio.

The other day one of my facebook friends, a relative actually, pondered her self-sabotage along these lines: "Why, when I am constantly saying I want to simplify, simplify, simplify, do I find my life becoming more complicated?"

I wonder the same thing. A week or so ago, as I made my grocery list, I tried to keep whole, "real" foods in mind- sugar rather than artificial sweeteners, dairy rather than non-dairy, fresh rather than from concentrate. As I walked through the doors of grocery store, into the "Aisle of Values", I reminded myself to buy things that might take longer to prepare, but would be better choices for me and my family.
As I walked past the Mio, I put two bottles into the cart. Mio is 100% pure artificial sweetener and color, to be expressed into water. Mio very well could have been on the bottom of Clark Griswold's aluminum sled-dish. Evan as I pushed my cart away from the Mio, I realized that Mio is the opposite of food, and I did not put it back.
In case you are wondering, I bought red Mio, which my daughter picked- I think it's fruit punch, and peach-mango which is orange. I think they taste terrible, my kid is really amazed that you don't even have to stir the drops into the water- it magically makes an even solution.

A blog-worthy event

Okay, let's get this out of the way... I haven't blogged since July 2010. Quitting blogging is much easier than quitting smoking. I have hardly missed it at all. Except for the few occasions when something happens that is maybe too personal for facebook but not quite worthy of a telephone call to my friends and family.

For instance, on Sunday, I had the single most terrifying moment of my life... and I have had a bullet pass through my hair.

It started as most Sundays do, Spencer at work, Madison tending to her farmville crops, me on the couch checking facebook and having coffee, sorting through "to-sort" piles. I came across a ziploc bag of beads and beading accesories, a promotional giveaway from an event I had been to. Since I can't stand to throw anything away, I called to Madison so that I could give it to her. She walked out of the computer room and stood across the room from me, gave me a bizarre look as I held the bag out to her, and disappeared behind the couch. Here is what went through my head in about 20 seconds, I am not sure what came out as words and what stayed in as thoughts.

Really? You can't leave the cat alone for a second so we can have a conversation?
Look at me when I am talking to you.
Stand up.
What the hell.
Why aren't you answering? Answer me.
Madison.
I'm going over there.
Holy shit, her leg is moving, is she having a seizure?
Are you faking this?
Do you think this is funny?
MADISON
MADISON
GET UP
not a seizure.
I'm afraid to touch her, I'm afraid to see her face.
MADISON WAKE UP.
MADISON
GET UP

At exactly the same moment I figured out that she had fainted, she woke up. I think she was scared, too, probably because I was yelling at her at the top of my lungs. It took a second or two to establish that no, she hadn't been making a joke (of course she hadn't, that thought wouldn't cross her mind) and that we should call the doctor.

In the time it took for the doctor to return my call, Google told me that it's not uncommon for adolescents to pass out after rising from laying or sitting. The doctor confirmed that, and said that as long as she didn't hit her head and felt otherwise okay, not to worry. So we aren't worried.

I guess I am surprised at how un-cool I was. I have always thought that I do a good job staying calm and not panicking in urgent situations, but now I question my abilities in that regard. I wonder, if she had been the "child pinned under a car", would I be the mom who lifts the car, or would I have been too scared? Would I have tried to just yell that car off of her?

The foot in my mouth

Last week I went camping near my friend Erica. We were on independent camping trips, but we were camped close to each other and we spent some time visiting and admiring each others' dogs.

One night I asked Erica why she hated children, which was my way of asking why she chose not to be a mom. In all honesty, I am not even sure she did choose not to be a mom. Anyway, she sorta answered me and I guess I was satisfied, but then, as I fell asleep that night I began to sober up, and I realized that I may have been very insensitive.
So the next day, I said, "Hey, I am sorry I grilled you about not having kids." I explained that what I should have said, what was in my heart, was that Erica is just so awesome and I think she should share who she is with another generation. She is artistic, funny, outrageous,independent and smart, and I think more children should be like Erica. I want my child to be like Erica.
Erica said she wasn't offended and I believe her. She has known me for a long time and she is used to what a tool I can be.
And we went rafting and we had fun.

But I got to thinking, Howcome no one ever walks up to women who clearly should NOT have had children and asks them about their decision to reproduce. No one says, "Why do you hate condoms?"

Karma Chameleon

Today, Spencer and Madison and I went to Hoodoo so that they could ride their dirtbikes. I sat in the sun.
Hoodoo is a butte in the central Cascades, about 2 hours from home. In the winter it is a ski area.
They rode for a while, but Madison was ready to go a little earlier than anticipated due to being pitched off her bike a couple times. We had some sandwiches and packed up.

I like many things about central oregon- the heat, the sky which seems bluer than in the Valley, the broad horizon. One thing I absolutely hate is the dust. And I really hate dusty feet.

So after we were on our way home, I asked if we could stop somewhere along the way so that I could dunk my feet into the South Santiam River or a lake. Spencer grumbled, but he found me a good spot where I could not only get my feet wet and clean, but keep them from getting dirty on the way back to the truck.
It was at this stop that he noticed that he had left our gas can at Hoodoo. It was a 5 gallon can, full of premium gas. He did the math- about 18 bucks worth of gas in a 10 dollar can. I told him I was game if he wanted to go back to the staging area, it would have been about a one hour drive. He kicked himself and we decided to just go home.
So we made it home an hour later, and he discovered that we had left his riding boots next to the gas can. Now, mathematically, it made sense to go back. But the boots and gas had been sitting out in the open for almost three hours- what were the chances they would still be there? Spencer, pissed off at himself, asked Madison and I to stay home while he went back for the boots and gas.
I immediately thought about my I am not a Paper Cup. What if it wasn't lost-lost? What if it's previous owner came back for it and found it missing?
Finders Keepers suddenly doesn't seem like such an awesome plan.

Spencer called about 20 minutes ago to let us know that he was on his way back home again, and that he had the gas and the boots. A family from Salem who were camped near the spot where we unloaded set them aside for him- near but distinctly separate from their gear. They told him they knew he'd be back.

The Results Show

We did our meeting on Friday, and we basically re-hashed what we already knew. She does have ovaries, one has six follicles, and they are working, but they are working as hard as they can and they don't seem to be making enough estrogen to get puberty off to the running start most girls get. Dr. Bondy recommended we wait another 6 months to a year to begin estrogen, and she thinks we can get Madison to 5'1".
We also found out that Madison has an aberrant subclavian artery, and we were told not to give it a second thought.
The cardiologists at the NIH felt that her aortic root was normal, not mildly dilated as we had thought before. This is good news.

Day 5, Even more out of the NIH

This morning Madison had her glucose tolerance test. As soon as that was over and she got to remove her blood pressure buddy, we headed out to DC.
Our first stop was the Smithsonian Castle, which is just the info center for all the Smithsonian museums. We picked up our new member welcome packet because they persuaded me to join at the Air and Space gift shop. The welcome packet is a map.
Then we headed to the Washington Monoment, where timed tickets for entry are free but limited. We arrived at about 1:00, the tickets were "sold out" at 7:30. So we stood back and admired the monument and headed to the White House.
The walk to the White House was long and hot. We stopped a few times to rest and we had a little bit of a breakdown, with Madison whining about the heat and me sick of hearing the whining. Eventually we got as close as we were able to get to the White House, and we took a picture or two before we heaed to the White House Visitor Center which is loceated in the nearby Commerce building.
The Visitor Center is actually quite nice, much more museum than gift shop. In fact, I don't recall that there were any souvenirs for sale at all. We watched a nice film and enjoyed the AC.
Then we walked a couple blocks back to the capitol mall. I should say that Washingon DC blocks are about three blocks long.
We had an asian dinner at the Smithsonian World Culture Festival, or something like that. Then we walked to the other side of the mall to the Museum of Natural History.
We saw the Hope diamond, which is nice, but it wasn't even close to the most impressive gem in the room. The gem and minerals exhibit was really neat. We also saw the Mammals exhibit, Early Civilizations, Human Ancestors where we got our pictures taken to see how we would look as Neandethals, Oceans, and Bones.
Then we went to the gift shop, because that is madison's favorite part- even though I told her that there wouldn't be souvenirs. She just likes to read the books, I think. Anyway, as we browsed, I saw on a table of jewelry and books a I am Not a Paper Cup, not in a box, a little dirty. I picked it uip and inspected it- no price tag on the bottom and although it was empty, I could tell it hadn't always been. This was a Lost Cup. But not for long. It is now a Found Cup.
Tomorrow we get the results of all her tests and the big picture. All her doctors will come to her room and we will have a big conference. We are considering going back to Washington, but it is sort of a hassle to leave the hospital and also, we are very, very sore.
I miss home and I am ready to be done here.

Day 4, mostly out of the NIH

This morning, Madison's space cadet nurse rushed in at 7:15 to remind us that she had an MRI at 8. It's a good thing she did, I would have slept right through it. We went to the cardiac MRI center. We walked past the "Mouse MRI" room and the "Animal MRI" room. The cardiac MRI took place in a different building than her abdominal MRI.
I stayed behind the lead wall with the radiologist and the tech. After about 30 minutes, another lady walked in our room and asked how much longer Madison's exam was going to be. Our tech told her about 10 minutes, and asked why.
"I need that coil for a pig".

Then she got fitted with her 24 hour blood pressure monitor, which is just a cuff attached to a small machine that she wears around her waist. It takes her blood pressure every half hour while she is awake and every hour wheile asleep.
She also went for an audiology exam today, where it was determined that she can't hear for shit, which I could have told them. She had pneumonia a couple weeks ago with a concommitant ear infection. In fact, she had a blister on one of her eardrums. She has finished her course of antibiotics, and although she is no longer complaining of pain, the blister remains. And sincer her ears are all jacked up, she is deaf as can be, but in a weird way. She can hear almost everything fine except background noise, and she talks very quietly. For example... we were standing about 20 feet from a fast moving train and she was talking to me in her regular voice and couldnt' understand why I couldn't hear her.
So when we get home we have to get her ears addressed.

But after that, we went to Washington DC! We rode the subway, which was exciting because everything moves so fast and no one wants to look like some Oregon rube who can't figure out the fare machine. But I was rubey.
We rode the Metro to the capital mall. I was surprised that the grass is splotchy and patchy, not lush and green. We went to the capital to take a tour. The walk was about 3/4 mile, and it was about 100 degrees and HUMID, so we were both hating life. In fact, by the time we got onto the capital grounds, I asked a golf cart driver to take us to the visitor's entrance. She had the machine on, she sorta looked disabled. Plus she's deaf.
Once we were delivered to the entrance, we had to go through security. Madison set off the metal detector with her monitor and was afraid she would have to take it off, but the guards were very nice about it. They weren't so nice about the empty water bottles I had in my bag. I had to take them outside and i was told to throw them away, in the trash. One of them was a giveaway from a radiology joint back home, but one was a pretty nice, new stainless one and I did not want to throw it away. So I asked a couple of guys in red Visitor Services vests if they wouldn't mind watching them if I jsut set them in the grass. They explained that the capitol police and the secret service frown on unattended stainless steel tubes and if I put them down the whole capital would have to close. They told me to put them in the special trash marked "water bottles" because that trash doesn't get empties as often, and maybe the bottles would be there when we got back.
So I did it. Then back through security I went. With scissors in my bag.
So out to the trash again.... this time I tried to balance my scissors on the edge of the can, under the outer box, so that I could maybe reach in and grab my scissors when we were done with the tour.
Then back through security I went.
I made it! And we were super lucky to catch the last tour of the day. We weren't able to see the House or Senate floors. Those areas are open to the public, but only with a pass issued by your member of congress, which can take up to 24 hours. Madison and I both enjoyed the tour quite a lot.
The we walked to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, where we saw all kinds of air and space artifacts. Madison bought souvenir Air Force wings. The museum was really impressive, we spent about 2 hours there and we only skimmed the surface.
Did you know all the Smithsonian museums are free? Pretty awesome, I think.

We also got some results today, Madison's bone density is not super, so more calcium and vitamin D for her.

Tomorrow is the last test, the glucose tolerance test. Then we will go back to Washington and see the White House visitors center, the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History and the Washington Monument.