I am a liberal, not a moderate, dammit.

One Too Many


The third glass of wine
like the third child
was an oops.

I am glad I had it
But
If I had it to do over again
I would have stopped at two.

Let the Meetings Begin!

Now that school has started, the meetings have begun in earnest. Tonight was the first of three this week- a Girl Scout adult volunteer meeting. Usually, these meetings are a real snooze, but since we have major changes this year, tonight was at least interesting in the sense that it was amazing how disorganized and incompetent the organization is showing itself to be. Thank goodness I am only in this for the girls, because if I were in it for any type of personal enrichment, I would be sorely disappointed.
Tomorrow, I am hosting an ESA meeting here at my home. That should be somewhat better, at least I can drink.
And Friday, we will have the first girl scout meeting of the year, which I genuinely am looking forward to. I love seeing the girls after the summer, how they have grown and changed and matured. We are going to have a lot of fun this year.

Seventh Grade Adventist

Tomorrow is the big day, Madison's first day of seventh grade. She has her outfit all picked out- a black blouse with jeans and her black "school shoes"- so named because every year since kindergarten, we have bought her at least one pair of these shoes:
which last all year and are super comfy, according to Madison. This year, we bought her last two pairs of School Shoes- she has grown to the top of the kids' shoe scale, her next shoes will be in women's size.
I digress. So, the outfit is all picked out, the backpack is (mostly) packed with fresh school supplies and new gym shoes and clothes, and Madison herself is definitely ready to get back to school.
And I am struggling with the same question I struggle with every year: What to pack her for lunch?
Every year, we start with good intentions and grand plans for her to take her lunch each day so she will have a "real food" meal. Have you seen a school lunch? Worse than gas station food.
As the year progresses, and by progresses, I mean by the second week of school, I am tired of getting up early to make her lunch and she is too pressed for time in the morning to do it herself. So I write a small check for her lunch account, hoping that if I only give her enough for a few days' worth of disgusting tray fare, we will be forced to renew our efforts when the money runs out.
Or write another check...

8 folks I want to thank for working on Labor Day

* Gas Station Guy- Can you imagine what would happen if gas stations were closed on holidays? A whole lot of bad news, that's what.

* Mini-Mart lady- back in my smoking days, I could always count on Mini Mart lady showing up to work just to sell me a pack of butts. I'm sure she sells other important things to other people, too.

* Mr. DJ- Holidays would be eerily quiet without the folks at the radio station pressing the buttons. I appreciate the noise.

* Simple Carry-out Boy- I am pretty sure you get stuck with the crummy shifts because you cheerfully smile and say "Yes, ma'am" to anything. Do you know you're appreciated?

* Fast Food Grill Guy Who May be my Brother in Law- Those burgers aren't going to wrap themselves, and thanks to you, we can all have hot fries, even on a holiday.

* Air Traffic Controllers- I don't think we verbalize our gratitude to you enough. I can walk outside, confident that I am safe from falling aircraft, even on holidays, thanks to you.

* Barmaid- thanks for keeping the drunks corralled, while most of us are getting drunk with our families, they can get drunk with you.

* Strippers- thanks for keeping the pervs off the street. Civilization just may fall apart if you ladies took a day off. Happy Labor Day to you.

Things I learned this week- crabbing edition

Today, we went crabbing in Newport with my husband's brother and his three kids, and his mother and stepfather and their teenage son. Because of the high kid-overboard potential, we crabbed off the public pier with the railings on the South side of Yaquina bay, rather than our favorite, less-safe, and far less-crowded spot across the water.

One good thing about the long pier is that on the shore end, there are restrooms and a fish cleaning station. The fish cleaning station has trough sinks, hoses, counters, and a dumpster which is filled with fresh fish carcasses. I suggested we dig some bait out of the dumpster, but was voted down because of the ickyness of rooting in a dumpster.
After we had pulled our rings for the second time and found them empty, I decided I was goin' rootin'. I walked down to the end of the pier, and with a glove, pulled out what was left of a fileted tuna- the head, spine and tail.
That fish carcass got HEAVY by the time I had hauled it all the way back to our rings, and I would like to say that due to my dumpster diving, we caught zillions of delicious crab, but we didn't. We did however, catch some- some female and too-small male Dungeness.. and a few red rock crabs, which we kept- but went home with the in-laws, so I can't attest to their deliciousness.
Here's what else I learned:

*I learned that the crab ring ropes have worried grooves into the pier.
* I learned that the president is going to give an address to school kids on Tuesday, the day before my daughter starts school. I'll be sure she watches at home.

* I learned a few other lessons that I ought not blog about. But I learned them. If you ask me about them, I'll tell you.

* I learned that many schools start before Labor Day. This, in my opinion, is ridiculous.

Cheap Wine report

There are so many ways that I love Grocery Outlet, but I think my favorite thing about G.O. is the wine department. I am able to try a lot of different wines for $2 to $4 per bottle. Yes, $2 per bottle. Tonight, I bought my favorite yet, and I thought I should share... although I am reluctant to let the secret out. The last two times I have bought good wine and gone back for more, it was all sold out.
I am talking about Three Winemakers White Rabbit, for which I paid $2.99. (according to Google, it regularly sells for $12.99) Red Haze is pictured above, which I have not tried. Both wines are made from a blend of grapes. White Rabbit promised melon and pineapple flavor, and did it ever deliver. There's also a nice spicy oak note in there. This is by far my favorite cheap wine so far. Here is my completely made-up wine rating system.

Cool label: 4/5

Taste: 5/5

Catchy name: 4/5

Price: 4/5 ( I couldn't give this a 5 because GO sells wine for $1.99 a bottle, too)

So White Rabbit gets 17/20. It could only have been better if the name had a catchy double entendre, if it were $1.99, and if the label were...I don't know, a little more appealing to me.

The uniforms are ugly: the attitude is worse.

So shortly after I posted and went to bed last night, LaGarrette Blount, the Oregon Duck who last week said that Boise State was owed an ass-whoopin', gave an ass-whoopin to Bronco Byron Hout.. who, maybe asked for it a little... and should have been wearing his helmet to talk trash. If he had been, he maybe wouldn't have crumpled after Blount tagged him.

Blount then flew into a full-fledged rage. He shoved a teammate who tried to call him. As he walked to the tunnel, he was taunted by fans. He had to be restrained by coaches and security to keep from going into the stands. By this time, no UO players were near him. He had already cut himself from the team. It was just a formality when coach Kelly did it today.

Oregon's football uniforms are UGLY.

Tonight, the college football season began, a harbinger of fall. Oregon opened their season at Boise State, on the smurf turf. Full Disclosure: We are Beaver Believers... but honestly, not Duck haters. We generally root for both teams except in the civil war.

Oregon has a rich history of ugly uniforms. I suspect that they think, since they have an "in" at Nike, that their uniforms are "sick", and the rest of us just don't appreciate them yet because of our retarded sense of gridiron fashion. Scratch that- I don't suspect it, I know it. Each year, the uniforms are unveiled to much fanfare and media hoopla. Nike and the UO Athletic department tell us about new, high-tech materials (this year, the D-rings on the pants are titanium, not steel)
and modern design options-all fashioned for optimal football performance.

This year, the players have 5 jerseys, 4 helmets and 4 pants options... 80 possible combinations. for 16 games. All 80 are ugly. But any that involve that yellow jersey are particularly heinous.

They can't fool me. Those uniforms are u-g-l-y and they don't got no alibi. Wings? Nike says they aren't just decorative, they are abrasion-resistant. So they are slippery wings.

Look at the numbers. Don't they look like they were put on with colored duct tape? They are made of some special material, much lighter than the usual sewn-on numerals. In this case- lighter equals uglier.

Listen, I wish Oregon all the luck this year. I hope they do well and take second in the Pac10. But, man, those uniforms are ugly.

A Baseball Haiku

Haiku are my way of getting a post in- writing something- when I am too tired to write more. A cop out? Maybe.

Old men play baseball
injuries and surgeries
can't stop the boys of summer.


***I slept on this, and realized, in bed, that this is not a haiku at all. I guess I was tired!
Here's a haiku:

The love of the game keeps them
coming back for more
despite the rheumatism.

*******third try: I see that I still don't have it right.

achy and old joints
squeaking around the basepath
grinning like schoolbys



there. I got it.

The Space Between

I occasionally run into a physician that I will call Dr. Johnson (after Lyndon Johnson, above). Dr. Johnson is an interesting man to me, because he has obvious issues with his self-esteem, which is not recommended for a surgeon.

Dr. Johnson is not a skilled physician. He has, in fact, been asked to refrain from operating on patients, or performing any otherwise invasive procedures. He came up with a convenient case of carpal tunnel syndrome (which, curiously, in only his case, can't be surgically cured) which allowed him to gracefully change the nature of his practice from surgical to medico-legal.

It is my opinion that Dr. Johnson has never been particularly intelligent or socially skilled. I suspect that he was admitted to medical school because his father and sister are doctors. I also suspect that he graduated at the bottom of his class.
Surgeons are trained to be infallible... to find fault for errors anywhere but with themselves. Although it makes them difficult to deal with on personal level, it is, in the end, a very good thing that someone who holds the lives of others literally in their hands should be supremely confident.
In Dr. Johnson's case, he had to find his confidence somewhere... so he compensated.
He married a quite lovely woman, who obviously is in love with her lifestyle... but I wonder about how in love with him she is. He buys his clothes from the finest catalogs, then tells you about it. ("They don't even print the price") He takes a month off each year to sail his yacht.

He interacts with people as if he has been taught to "be a good listener"- and I think that is what repulses me about him. I can smell his bullshit. I get the weird feeling that I intimidate him, and so he really turns on the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People when I'm around.

He leans in, much too close, when he talks to me, and looks me right in the eye like a dog trying to establish dominance. He tries to make small talk, but he fails miserably. I try to uh-huh and look busy, but he doesn't get the hint. Today I had to tell him that he was too close.

"Can you back up a little?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..."

But I know that he had meant to, and I think he was happy that I admitted it.

I should have offered him a breath mint.